OK Emerging Ink

Summer's Namesake

summer dances through spiked rocks, moss, and cliff streams

she walks tip-toe, bare-foot, and face-bearing a squinty eye smile, as bright as the star above her

she waltzes with the wind and tangles her hair in tree branches

she has zinnia breath and flower-crown hair

she strips fast, facing the sun, and lets the light hit her skin

only pausing for a moment to soak it all in

summer jumps with her eyes closed

after a look straight down at the drop

she jumps head first, a dolphin dive, head back as she falls

up towards the heavens, but she doesn't pray

She Screams

she pays herself back for long hours and sleepless nights

she pays in sunshine pennies and river banks

she pays in screams, hollers, whoops and shouts

she pays her back in flips and her lips in sweet summer kisses

she cracks back at the summer storm's lightning and rides the fish like surfboards

she doesn't falter when the waves hit her and she doesn't sway with the tide

she stands naked and unafraid

proud of her namesake as she cries

"It's Summertime Again"

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Arguably, the most exciting part of a new book is the author’s dedication; I am equally disappointed when there is not one. My favorite dedication comes from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: For Lilah, smash the patriarchy sweetheart. Fitting for the strong-willed story that followed. But often, books do not have a dedication and I am left wondering why? So, it was no surprise when my favorite book Tumble Home by Amy Hempel was dedicated to her brothers, and just that. I meticulously turned over each page in the front and back, searching, there must be more, before giving up. In times like this, I give my own, additional, dedication: For those with an unconventional idea of love and home.

A signed copy of Tumble Home was given to me by my German teacher after reading a piece of my writing for the first time. Chapter to chapter, Tumble Home turned increasingly haunting and beautiful. I finished it in one evening at the corner of my local bookstore with a mug of cocoa gone cold and a half-eaten blueberry scone. I felt transparent. Tumble Home was an anecdote to my life, published nearly a decade before I was born. Hempel described resilience and the bittersweet ache of human relationships in ways I had never expected or thought to explore. I was forced to empathize with characters that mirrored myself. It lit a fire inside me that I had not felt since picking up The Hunger Games in middle school. Since then, my love for books and writing has skyrocketed as I rely on the words and familiar ‘pen to paper’ feeling for guidance, advice, and healing.

Last week my German teacher gifted me a collection of Amy Hempel’s stories. Maybe this will find you when you’re looking for a good read someday H.M. 2023. I decided that if I were ever to write a book, my dedication would be this: Thank you Herr McKenzie, for knowing me better than I know myself.

Ma:

It is scary in America, but I know you don’t want me to return to Guangdong either. I won’t beg to be taken back. Don’t worry, I am strong and will be okay. How is your health doing? I am worrying for you. 

I have gotten a raise, and next month I will be able to send you enough to get you and Ba a nanny. Don’t worry, America has a lot of money to be made. It is a melting pot of gold and filth. The buildings here are tall and grand but the people here are not kind. They are cold, rude, and rich. 

I’ve met some interesting folk here. My coworker at the restaurant I work at is from Fujian, she is quite talented, far too bright for this work. At the restaurant, Boss sends her to serve the white folk. They tip well because she speaks good English. I want to reach her level and then the next, but I fear I won’t make it. I am learning English, and I think I am quite good, but it is hard for Americans to understand my accent.

The only people kind to Chinese people are Chinese people. Maybe it's because we can only communicate with each other. But I worry for the streets here. Money is easy to come by, but it's also easy to lose, to lose everything. I trust our boss will lead us to good fortune, he is a respectable man. So please rest well Ma. 

Ma, focus on your health. Quit giving away money for charity, that won’t improve your own karma. Ma, good fortune does not always follow the good. In this world, we have to look out for ourselves first. I worry for you. Tell me about how Ba is doing. 

1974 May 22,

Li Bai

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You need to have classes; These classes need to be expensive or else it isn’t worth it; You need to already be known; Be rich; You have to already be in a film to get cast in a film; How are you going to get cast without already being in a film; You have to look like a girl next door; But also be able to pull off any look; You have to be likable; Also be unique; Look the same as everyone else, but be different; Have the perfect Hollywood smile; Be confident but don’t overshadow the men; Have a big resume; Have overly edited headshots even if they don’t look like you anymore; Say what you’re told because you don’t know any better; You will be controlled; you’ll have to deal with that if you want to make it; You have to have clothes that match your color pallet; Know how to do your own makeup; Your own hair; Be able to memorize quicker than what is possible; Be able to walk in heels; Be skinny; Don’t be too skinny; Have full lips; Bright eyes; Clear skin; Long silky hair; Be who you aren’t; Be ok with wearing tight clothes; And as soon as your old enough no clothes; Be a joy to work with; Accept the unacceptable; Work in a broken system; Love the broken system; Never ever try to change it; Simply stand straight; Smile big; Wave to your fans; If you’re lucky enough to make it; Be comfortable with being an extra; You’ll get close to no pay; You won’t get paid; You will not comply to child labor laws; You will work the hours that you are told to work; Become comfortable with doing the uncomfortable; Conform to what everyone wants; Look as young as you can for as long as possible; Never look older than you are you won’t get cast; Be comfortable with being touched; You will be touched regardless of what you say; Suffer in silence you don’t want to get blacklisted; Are you going to be the kind of actress to get blacklisted?

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